12-18-05 Finally. I woke up this morning realizing I had absolutely nothing scheduled until four. I could go to church OR I could finally watch the White Sox World Series game 1. Hmmm... church....Sox...testaments...baseball...preacher...Oz. As I watched  the pre-game show I began to tear up. Sure its not the same since I know the ending, but I could feel the emotions of years of cheering, screaming, praying, begging, and clapping until my hands stung believing if I did it just right they would hit a home run and win. I watched the game imagining the tension and energy that would have been pulsing through my body as I watched the game not knowing how it would turn out. I could hear my mother yell- not Cotts, what do we want to loose! I could feel Paulie, Paulie, Paulie pressing through my aching throat. I could see myself biting my lower lip secretly promising God that I would be good if only they wouldn't choke while at the same time asking for forgiveness for making such an earthly request. I almost think it was good I could not watch those games because I would have surely given myself an ulcer, heart attack, or stroke. I know everyone out there who has a passion for a team that has less than a great winning record can relate. Finally. World Series Champions. If I had been home I would have gone on a photography hunt capturing all of the excitement and energy portrayed throughout the South Side. Instead, I watch the game months later knowing the ending, but still feeling just as proud to be a White Sox fan. I wish they played baseball here!

12-19-05 Count Down: T-minus 6 days. Today I went into town to attend a workshop on literacy and buy some food for my father's visit. In less than six days my two worlds will be colliding. They often cross paths through email, letters, phone, and packages, but I have never experienced them side by side. My friends and villagers are excited to welcome my family and have invited us to event after event. I have to decline many so we can spend some quality time together! I really feel like I am part of the family. After a wonderful literacy talk, a veggie burger at a Rasta restaurant, and crazy shopping, I returned home and visited my host family. Tomorrow, I will go to the garden with them and help them to harvest bananas. It will get me out of the house and exercising. Oh the joy of the Caribbean at Christmas. I am so excited I can't sleep!

12-20-05 Bombs (5). Today was an exceptional day. I emerged from my sleep to find a sunny sky dotted with white Simpsons clouds. You know, the white puffy ones on the cartoon the Simpsons (I miss that show- someone should buy me some season CDs). I devoured a bowl of oatmeal in preparation for a day of work in the hot sun. I put on clothes that could be ruined and headed over to my host families home. We sat and talked until my host father picked us up to harvest bananas. We had to do twenty boxes- about three hours worth of work with three people. I clean and pack along side my host mother while my host father cuts down bananas and packages them. The sun beat down making sweat steadily drip down my spine. Banana juice stained my skin and clothes. Still, I thoroughly enjoy doing the work. It gives my mind a break from the deep and mundane thoughts normally running through my skull. Instead I think: one, two, three, four- ok I need two more- cut off two, hold together and, come-on get in the stupid bag- Ok fold it correctly.... and were should this one go. My host mother and I had good conversation- I miss her greatly. After the last box, my host father finally allowed me to attempt to lift a full box. When I could, they were a amazed and called me a "strong girl". Stereotype number 101 broken-go me! I returned and cooked my family lunch and then fell into my bed- stink, stains, and all.

 Around 4:30 I awoke to a loud violating set of booms. A gun? A bomb? No- luckily last week a volunteer warned me about the sounds that would soon assail my ears- bamboo guns. Young men take bamboo a shoot and stuff them with kerosene and other flammable materials and then shoot out something making a loud boom. Somehow this is considered a way of celebrating Christmas. I guess the birth of Jesus was preceded by gun shots. I feel as if I am getting an idea of what it would sound like to be living in a nation in civil war. The constant sound of blasts is still going strong at 7pm with no sign of slowing down. The sounds are violent yet in one way can be attributed to the islands recent history of peace. In few other lands would these sounds be welcomed. Nations torn from wars and terrorism would hunt down and arrest (at the least) these troublesome youngsters. Were else in the world would the sounds of guns and bombs be celebratory? This brings up the question of which type of nation you would rather reside in. The U.S. with wealth and fast food but the threat of terrorism and having loved ones go off for war or Dominica with extreme poverty but little threat of terrorism or having their sons and daughters risking their lives in war. In a way Dominica and the US are pure opposites. Perhaps this is one reason I could never imagine such a place, a life until I lived here.

1/13/06 2006. Well I wrote many wonderfully insightful entries only to have them erased when I downloaded the website back onto my computer. So you missed my Christmas, New Years, father's visit, and lots of work. I am really into work now. I am doing many projects and have made a lot of head way. There is no time to worry, complain, or be home-sick. My mother will be here in a less than two weeks and I am excited. I have friends in the community and many good days. My place is finally MINE. I am learning the guitar in my tiny bit of spare time and continue to study for the GRE. I cannot wait to see my mother and aunt and am trying hard not to count down the days so it comes quicker. The trick will be to slow down time once they are here so that I can cherish ever second with them while they are here. I will replace the lost entries slowly.

1/23/06 Busy. So it has been ten days since I last wrote. I am very sorry but things have been insanely busy. For instance, today I awoke at 5:30am to do a bit of laundry, some work/ research, and get ready for school at 8. I tutored from 8-1 with only a half an hour break. I stuffed my PB&J sandwich down my throat on my way to CCF to set up a planning meeting for family and education projects. I then hurried up the hill to the local community center to help the KFC (Kids for Christ) group set-up their after-school/ feeding program. I served food, cleaned dishes, read a book, and led an art project for the children. I then had to encourage my community partner to work on her part of a grant proposal due January 30th by bringing it up on the computer and explaining what I had done thus far. I then scurried down the hill back to the CCF office, buying some bread on the way for dinner. We had about a two hour planning session that went really well. I then went back up the hill to my apartment, took in the laundry from the line, and began to make countless phone calls to invite people to a lunch and to two training sessions in February about how to plan projects and monitor them. I then cooked a small bite to eat and began cleaning the apartment in preparation for my mom and aunt's coming. This would not have been such an ordeal but I have just killed my last mouse and had to remove poop from every corner of every shelf and then disinfect. Now I am on my computer preparing to type up the results of the CCF planning meeting and reply to donation emails for the literacy center. Once that is finished, I will treat myself to a game of Jewel Quest and then clean-up the kitchen, prepare my bag for town tomorrow, set my morning laundry, take a shower, and collapse into bed. So much for all that free time Peace Corps promised!

1/24/06 EC Time. Today was another busy day. I caught the 7am bus to Roseau for a workshop to discuss planning out the rest of the first year. I discussed my projects, hopes, and challenges. I then ran back to the bus stop to do the usual sitting and waiting. The bus stop is generally quite sunny and the sun seems to burn into your skin. There is no set schedule of when a bus leaves. When one is full, it moves. When I say full I don't mean eggs in an egg carton. I mean sardines in a can (of course I have never seen sardines in a can but people say its tight). Anyways, you are lucky if something isn't pressing into your body from multiple angles. Today wasn't so bad on the way back but this morning I thought the seat in front of me was going to separate my knee from my leg. So we waited for about forty minutes and then took off for Castle Bruce. I got a nap-kinda. Every time we hit a bump while skirting a turn I would whack my head on the side of the bus making a nasty noise and waking me up. I then came home and tried to call my community partner who I was suppose to meet with. No answer. 30min later- no answer. Ahh, yes, EC time. This is the PC term that means no one is ever on time here. It doesn't matter if I had something important to do. Meetings start sometimes an hour past the time they are scheduled. It is horrible for their economy and their ability to compete in any market. Yet it is seen as a great quirk. I guess all I can do is be on time, no early, to every event and set a better example.

2/1/06 Leaving It Behind. My spirit is currently in a state of joy. Why? My mother just visited, I accomplished all of my goals for January, and I had Mexican food! Mmmmmmm Mexican food. How can you ever be sad when you have cheese, tostadas, beans, salsa, and all of the other wonderful spicy yummy ingredients. Anyways, this joy has allowed me to see a general trend that has taken place throughout my life. Every time I move on to another stage of my life I become very, very depressed until I can figure out either how to bring those joys with me into the new stage or to leave them behind. In this stage it felt as if I had to leave all of the joys from my life in the states- family, friends, consistency, snow angels, bicycles, skyscrapers, and Mexican food.  This last week I came to the realization I can still have family, friends, and the occasional Mexican food. Skyscrapers have been replaced with waterfalls and green, lush hills. Bicycles I have learned to leave behind and I am getting great at sand angels. So, I think I will be in a great mood until the next stage comes- a transition I have been warned will be the hardest in my life- returning home. Until then- I will gather joys here I can try to return with.

2/2/06 Parenting sessions. One part of my job will be to attend bi-monthly parenting sessions with the Christian Children's Fund. The sessions teach parenting skills and help parents to make age appropriate toys. I will be recording minutes and helping to chronicle their work. Is this sustainable? Not really. Is it needed? I believe so. I hope to also start a newsletter for parents to get information to even those who do not show up. Hopefully it will also serve as a communication devise between parents and to highlight those that are fully participating and benefiting from the program. One thing is for sure- I will have all the skills to raise my own children and make them baby Einstein's! By the end of these two years, I will know more about child development that most parents!

2/3/06 Peers. Today I went to a workshop with the Rovers program. It was a brilliant morning. The heat over the last few days reminds me so much of home. Its that heat you feel the first few days summer that makes school children troublesome and ache for the end of classes. A wonderful warmth that seems to sit in your body and force happiness out into a smile. I stepped out and realized I no longer feel like a stranger. I was walking out MY door, down MY street, to MY school, to attend my job. I greeted My neighbors who called me by name and laughed off a few guys who are MY local annoyances. I didn't even feel the need to be polite and just waved and walked off. I saw friends on the way and shortly stopped to talk. Almost to the bottom a local respected elderly man decided to escort me to the bottom of the hill. I walked slow and talked with him about his day and my constant busyness. We parted with a smile and went to a meeting where people spoke to me as a friend and peer. This may not seem like a big deal to all of you at home- but trust me, all of these little things, and feelings are a huge deal to me and most Peace Corps. I really love MY home, village, and country. What a change from just a month ago!

2/22/06 Migration. Today I lost my best friend in the village to migration. She was not only the only person I confided in and hung out with she was also the person that led so many of the organizations that I work with. What happens now? Who knows. All I know is that this means more work for me and more troubles and one less person to talk to who understands my situation.

I have not written for a long time because I have been really happy and really busy. I guess I have less of a creative spirit for journal writing when I am not depressed! So lets catch up. My projects- Primary School: we are waiting to hear back from some groups about a grant some teachers and I sent out in order to get the supplies for the Literacy Center. We are currently stockpiling donations in preparation for the big renovation. I am excited!!! I am still tutoring one on one with about eight students. This is going very well though sometimes frustrating because many times the students don't even show up for school. Secondary School- the environmental club is off the ground and running! The third meeting is coming up and projects are already underway. An executive board will be established next Saturday. Also, I am waiting on some key players to sit down and discuss a Service Learning Program at the school. Fun Fun! Village Council- I will be jointly working with them on a few projects that overlap with youth and the environment. We hope to unite youth from all over the village to have a meeting and see what it is that they need and want in their community. CCF- I am going to parenting sessions and recording notes. I also hope to start a newsletter for the parents that cannot attend. I am helping to start a Youth agriculture program for the beginning of March. I have also been teaching art at a local after-school program. On the side I have been teaching a woman to swim and we are talking about beginning an aerobics program. That and so much more. I am BUSY and therefore happy. Integration- I finally feel as if I am completely comfortable- I do not mind the little quarks of the culture anymore. I look forward to the good mornings and seeing all the same faces on the way too and from work. I feel sad when someone is not sitting on their porch. I know all the children's names and have become their friend. Parents and other adults that were once hesitant, smile when I go by and even carry conversations with me. I am at home, I am content, I am happy. There is one problem though- I don't know how I will ever be able to separate from this place and these people. I laughed at the idea that the culture shock coming home is worse than coming here. Peace Corps handouts talk about leaving as the most traumatic part of the experience for many. I now know what they are speaking of- and I still have a year and seven months.

Martinique- I also never wrote about vacation numero uno. Myself, two fellow PCVs, and a friend of a PCV took a three night trip to the neighboring island Martinique. Vastly different from Dominica, Martinique has long white sand beaches, French people, and lots of wealth. It is considered French soil and the culture is a fusion of Caribbean Creole and French. We enjoyed French cheese, wine, and crepes. Each day was spent lounging on the topless beaches soaking up sun, salt, and sand. The best part was the hot showers at night and not having to worry about the Peace Corps. What was strange about the experience was the return. I ran straight back to my bus stop where I was welcomed. Where everyone knew my name. It was wonderful to be back in a place that said Good Day and went out of their way to make you feel welcome. I felt like I had returned home. For the first time I called Dominica home and meant it. As the word slipped from my tongue, out my lips, it created a smile and warmed my heart. Home- I have two of those now

3/3/06 Carnival- This last weekend was the country's Carnival celebration. The history of Carnival is cloudy at best and changes depending who is telling you (Catholics way of adopting to culture, celebration of the abolition of slavery, just another reason to party). What is clear though is that the meaning has changed dramatically over the years. Today it divides the nation into two groups: the religious conservatives and what I like to call the partiers. Many put their nose up to Carnival calling it Catholic, devilish, pagan. In some ways they are correct- Carnival has been taken advantage off by drunk, horny, and sometimes violent youth who use the holiday to drink, steal, destroy, and rub-up against one another. It is said that the birth rate 9 months after Carnival dramatically spikes. Still, I couldn't help and sense the importance of culture, tradition, and even Christian faith throughout the experience. On Saturday night I went with a large group of PCVs to the Calypso Finals. Calypso is a form of music unique to the Caribbean. It is a mix of catchy beats, politically charged lyrics, and amazing stage presence. This year's songs hit on topics such as money laundering, the end of the world, homelessness, political unity, President Bush and Iraq, fatherhood, the inability for the current government to live up to its promises, and many more. Christianity made its presence shown through several songs on Jesus and sin. For one song many people in the audience even took out white crosses and waived them above their heads. The evil side of Carnival also presented itself to me. Some drunk guy kept falling into my friends and I and stepping on our feet so finally I strategically placed an umbrella between us and him so that he would get a poke telling him to stop moving back. This ticked him off- I guess he thought it was his right to step all over us and so he took a swing at my head. Still, it was probably my favorite night of Carnival. We got home around 4 am and slept until noon. We awoke, ate, went for a walk, watched a movie, and went back to sleep in order to wake up at 3am and return to the streets. At 4am we headed back down to town to "jump-up". This is basically following a band or drummers through the streets half shuffling half dancing. We did this until 9am- not all that fun. Then we ate breakfast with a local family and went out to see the parade at 10am. The parade was similar to what you might see in New Orleans. Costumes, music, floats. It was wonderful but after hours of dancing and a low level of rest I was exhausted. At 2pm we retired to our homes to sleep and get ready for Vaval on Wednesday. Vaval is the burning of Carnival. It is basically a funeral procession with coffin, priest, and lots of fire. Everyone dresses in white and black and jumps-up from around 2pm until 8pm. Then the priest (fake) performs a ceremony anointing the crowd with water and the casket with kerosene. At the end he lights the coffin and everything goes ablaze. People then take turns jumping, walking, and dancing through the flames. It was definitely a great time. The whole experience was great but I am glad it is over. Next year I hope people can come and experience it themselves.

3/7/06 Boredom. Carnival only ended a week ago so how could any journal entry start with the word boredom. The truth is that I am bored out of my mind. Nothing here is new anymore. There are no more personal trials, cultural shocks, new acquaintances.  Everything is similar and ordinary. Yes work keeps me somewhat busy but what about those hours I have no work to do? I can read, play a computer game, clean, or sleep- ya. These get old fast. No TV, no more best friend, no anything. Sometimes you just feel like going home to a friend, make a dinner, and have someone else do the dishes- maybe watch some TV, maybe go out, maybe talk about nothing, just something. I came home from school and began to think about all the things I wish I could do- go play basketball, go to a gym, go see a movie, go out to eat, go for a walk and talk with someone, watch TV, blast music and dance in PJs, discuss political and social theories and current events, play pool, anything but what I knew I would end up doing like I always do. This is why people do not live alone in societies like these were there is little to do. I came home dreding entering, feeling the walls close in and the sky darken. I washed the swet from my face, made dinner, ate, and then watched an episode of the Simpsons on DVD for the hundredth time. I am at such a point of boredom that everything seems dull. I tried a computer game- tired of it. Tried another- not in the mood. Played the guitar- too down to play well. So what to do? I guess I will do the dishes, sweep, cry a bit, exercise, and then curl up into a ball and sleep. I hope I am not to bored for that!

3/12/06 Environmentalisms. I awoke Saturday at 6am to the reverberations of Creole culture echoing through the valley into my ears. Some lovely person has had the unfortunate luck to acquire a disease that requires them to blast bad music for the first three hours of their day. Which, to my luck, begins around 5:45am on weekdays and Saturdays, and 7 am on Sundays. The disease is appropriately named, (IHNRFAOAMS) I Have No Respect For Any One Around Me Syndrome.  It is so unfortunate, I feel so much empathy towards the person I have thought about prescribing them some medicine- (APM) A Piece of my Mind or (APF) A Punch in the Face. Anyways, I awoke and dragged myself from bed to my MP3 player in order drowned out the sound before I pulled my hair out and screamed bloody hell. I then got ready for an exciting event with the Secondary School's Environmental club. I raced down the street thinking I would be late (it started at 8am and I was only three quarters down the hill at 8). I reached the gates to find them locked. Silly me, 8:05 isn't late, it's early! I sat on a rock and waited. 8:10, 8:20, 8:30, 8:40- ooooow goodie another person! Now we waited together. 8:45, 8:50- finally the leader. As usual the few movers and shakers of this place move and shake almost all things going on on the island. The leader was at another project earlier that morning and was late because of it. Not a problem- I sun tanned.

 About 12 students in total showed up which is amazing because the day before they had participated in an event called Belle Mosha (beautiful walk) were students raise money to walk extremely long distances for their school. Great turn out and only an hour late, I was ready for anything. We decided to pick up the trash along the outside fence. Students regularly throw their trash over the fence creating a nasty litter trap. We filled two BARRELS full and then called it a day. They will present the trash to the students Monday along with a plea to stop littering. This really got me thinking about environmentalism here versus at home. Here you have the environmental zealots and the anti-earth people just like at home. The biggest difference is that here they are lacking the "middle class" of environmentalists. You know and actually probably are the type I am talking about. You wouldn't litter, you recycle when possible, buy cars for their good gas mileage, buy organic food and products, and do the other little easy stuff that is so great for your ego and the world. Still, you probably take long hot showers, own a dish washer,  throw out recyclables at places without bins, and forget to bring your canvas bags to the grocery store every time you go. (Yes I am describing the U.S. me too!) Here that knowledgeable middle ground of people seem to be missing. I hope through my two years I can help establish individuals that will fight for this middle ground. Who will make littering as un-cool as it is in the states and create environmentalisms as trends.

3/15/06 Agriculture Business Programme. It has officially begun. Monday morning I awoke, put on my least stained and holey outfit, and ran to the DAD (Dominicans Against Drugs) site. I frantically printed out brochures and manuals, cleaned up the room, and wrote a speech outlining the three month programme. It was scheduled to begin at 10 so naturally it began at 11. Both news stations attended along with several newspapers. It was a packed house and really made me excited. The programme is a three month training youth skills course. We will be teaching the students computers, life skills, business skills, agriculture theory, and practical's. Students will have their own greenhouse bed, outside bed, and rabbits. Participants come Monday through Thursday for classes and the rest of the days on their own time to feed and water plants and animals. It took a lot of work to get this going and I am glad its begun. Organizing it really stretched my skill base and allowed me to become more confident in this type of non-profit management work. It also made me realize that I am really good at this kinda thing, but I really dislike doing it. I rather be hands on- of course, that is what I am doing now. Mondays and Tuesdays I will supervise. Mondays I teach computers and Tuesdays I oversee and teach some Life Skills. It will help increase the market of organic produce and food diversification in my village. Currently, it is badly lacking.

3/16/06 LOVEful. I absolutely loved my day. I awoke to nothing but birds chirping, five minutes before my alarm was set to rudely awaken me. I bounced out of bed, did my laundry, made breakfast, and cleaned up. I was ready to head down to the school twenty minutes before I needed too. So I played with my landlords puppy- so cute. I skipped to school- it was a beautiful morning with clouds denying the sun its severity. The ocean glistened and the village seemed peaceful. I said good morning to the usual suspects and strolled into the school at precisely 9 am. I held reading sessions with all of my students including one that I'm lucky to see once a month. I taught several children how to use a mouse (they just received a computer) and seemed to absorb their curiosity and amazement. One of my favorite children's eyes widened as he exclaimed "wow" as the computer screen became filled with the Windows 98 opening page. I love unspoiled children. As I ascended the hill for lunch a man asked how I could possible be without fiancé after so many months- he exclaimed that young men are just getting dumber! So sweet. After lunch, classes continued to be enjoyable. After the last class I headed to the local government office to have a chat with the chairperson of the council. We had a delightful conversation about what would be done after my vacation. That's right! I'm leaving for vacation on Saturday. YA. Well, that was my wonderful, delightful, joyful day (by the way I taught lessons all day on the suffix -ful).  Next time I write it will be all about St. Kitts! Have a good week.

4/2/06 St. Kitts, Opening Day, Boyfriend? St. Kitts was an amazing trip. We climbed a volcano, saw wild monkeys, ate Indian food, visited fellow Peace Corps, hiked, shopped, and sat at the beaches and swam for hours. It was a great break that has left me refreshed and excited about my placement in Dominica. I now know how special this island is. It takes the idea of a 'paradise island' to another level. The beauty, people, and culture never ceases to amaze and captivate me. I really love this place- it will always be in my heart. In the beginning people always asked if I could see myself living here for the rest of my life. I always answered casually- yes I think so. This is the first time I can exclaim that I would LOVE to live my life out in this land of rivers, waterfalls, rainforest, and beautiful people. Often I feel as if I am living in a fairy tail or Hollywood movie set. St. Kitts was more flat, hot, dry, and developed. I would never give up the beauty and culture of Dominica for the development in St. Kitts (well maybe for the monkeys and Indian food!) Now for the present time. Tonight is opening day for the White Sox, 2005 World Series Champions. I hate that I am missing it. GO SOX! Ok- now for the part I am sure you are waiting for since you read the title of this entry- boyfriend. Oops- I was tricked into asking a guy out on a date! It was the best trick ever- he is great and it is taking this experience to a different level. All I can say is that I am very happy, giddy even. I really didn't think I would end up in a relationship here, but I guess you cannot control your heart sometimes. I cannot explain it much more with words- if only you could only see my smile or feel that pleasant burning in that spot between your heart and stomach that I have been feeling since last Wednesday. Well enough of that mushy stuff.

4/15/06 Current, Nature. Monday I learned exactly what happens when you have bad electricity hook-ups and 220 volts. I was leaning over to turn off the electricity when I lost my balance and set my hand down onto a plug. The plug immediately began to pump current (their name for electricity) through my body. The plugs melted into my hand. I reached forward and yanked the cord from my hand and fell onto the ground clutching my toasted right hand. I at first was afraid to look at the damage, but I slowly looked down to see what looked like melted plastic. My first thought was to yell- call an ambulance, but then I realized there was none. Then I thought someone needs to bring me to the hospital, but there is no car and the hospital is over an hour away. So I finally realized what I need to do- I walked the ten-fifteen minute treck down the mountain to the local health center, holding back tears of anguish. There they checked my heart with a stethoscope and bandaged my hand with gauze. As of today, I still cannot feel one of my finger tips but the burn has gotten substantially better. Now that is a experience I will never forget. Honestly, with the US health system, I have no idea how anyone dies!

Today was an amazing day. I woke to a friend dropping off Broke Back Mountain. I popped it in and watched until around 10:30. At 11 Daric picked me up (yes we are doing wonderfully) and we went to the river. With my right hand unable to get wet, Daric has been doing my dishes, cooking/ bringing me food, and helping with laundry. On the way to the river we stopped by his friends home and picked up fishing sticks and a pot. He also gathered spinach, onion, thyme, and different ground provisions. After doing laundry and laying our clothes on the rocks to dry, we started a fire and cooked the different vegetables in broth. It was wonderful even though we didn't catch any fish or snails. Actually, I was a little relieved that we didn't! The place was beautiful and I cannot wait to go back. Though it will be much better if my hand was healed. The time spent with Daric is always amazing and I wouldn't trade it for anything, but it is limited. He is more than likely leaving for University in September- I hope it works out, but it will be very hard. Sometimes I can even convince myself its a good thing. That it will open my horizons without the pressure of long lasting commitment. But then we go out and have an amazing time, and I find myself wishing more than anything September will never come.  

4/17/06 Goodbye vegetarianism, hello Easter Bunny. I have come to the realization that being a vegetarian in a third world country is just not realistic. So I will not cook it for myself, but will eat it whenever it is served. This is the preface to a very funny and somewhat gross story. So for Easter I went with friends to Easter service. It was pleasant with children's performances and lots of singing. Afterwards the preacher invited me over for lunch. I agreed. Now the preacher is the same woman that is the mother of the people I am doing the Agriculture Business Programme with. The same programme were I am helping to raise and slaughter rabbits for meat. So (and I am sure you can guess were this is going) I went over for a huge meal including salad, fig pie, provisions, rice, beans, and yes rabbit. I decided that if I am going to be doing a programme that sells rabbit meat I should try it at least once. So on Easter of all days, I took my first juicy bite of rabbit. I must admit it is the best meat I have ever had. I think I would prefer it over chicken, pig, or cow. Poor Easter Bunny- but he tasted very good!

4/21/06 H2O. This morning I awoke to roosters and prepared for a day on Daric's garden (farm). His land is as far as you can go along a back ridge in my village- complete solitude. We planted coconut trees to help boundary the land and then headed to the river. His land is more beautiful than could ever be described with words or pictures. As he spear fished for Crayfish for his mother, I bathed for a good thirty minutes in the cool slow river. Every one of my senses was being stimulated with fish kissing my body, the soft sun warming my face, parrots and the river making music, and the gentle stirring of bamboo making light dance on the surface of the water. I could have been bathing in a painting and I wouldn't have noticed a difference. Surrounded by water- soaked thoroughly, it was hard to imagine the water situation I am facing at home. I will be living without running water for the next month or longer. Well, I will have water, but only at nights. This means river bathes, bucket showers, and a new routine. It starts around 8pm when the water hits the pipes. I clean my dishes, kitchen, and bathroom. I then take a shower, flush the toilet, and fill the bucket for flushing and cleaning during the day. I then refill my drinking water pitchers, bottles, and pots. In the morning, if the water is still on, I use it to brush my teeth, flush the toilet, and wash my face. At that point it is usually out for the day. Can you believe this is all because it hasn't rained in only three days! Actually, the water started to go out only after a day and a half of no rain and extreme heat. I guess I will really learn what it means to conserve water! The other joy of this season is that the current (electricity) goes out quite frequently- fun! So those visiting me in June and July bring water and candles- we will use them!

5/11/06 Tired and torn. Today and all of this and last week has been insanely busy. I feel like all of my community partners suddenly have a million things for me to help with and do. To give an example, today, I woke early to do some house work and prepare for the day. I then went to a CCF workshop that was supposed to go from 9-4. I could only attend until 2 since I had a meeting with the village council for the disaster committee. Of course, no one showed up so it was canceled- a good thing since I had another meeting at 2:30. This meeting was for the organizing of a story collection and telling group. It was scheduled for 2:30 which means 3:30. The meeting was short enough (if you don't count the hour waiting for it to start).  The meeting ended around 4 with the next meeting for the day being at 5. I decided an hour did not justify walking up the hill to my home, so I went to the Village Council office and did data entry that I am WAY behind in. The meeting supposed to start at 5 started at 6 and lasted until 8. Exhausted, I made my way down the mountain in order to walk back up to my home. I ate for the first time, rinsed my sweaty face and prepared my laundry for the night. Currently, it is soaking, waiting for me to spend the hour hand washing. The worst part is that I don't see this letting up any time soon. Plus, I have hours of typing and project writing work for the weekend. I NEED A VACATION! I just have to get through this month and June and everything will go back to normal. Well I'm off to doing chores until I pass out.

5/17/06 Sick, Sicker, and Sickest. Over the last month and a half I have made up for the seven months of perpetual health. It started with the electrocution, which left me incapable of doing anything dealing with water (laundry, dishes, wash). As this became a bit more bearable I headed down to the stream to do laundry with a fellow PCV. As we descended the hill I noticed a splotchy look to my skin. By the time we returned to my apartment a few hours later I had a fever and a rash covering my entire body. The rash lasted a few days but the fever went away that night. A week later I began to have pain urinating. Sure enough, another UTI. I suffered for a day until I could get to a doctor who prescribed antibiotics and rest. As the antibiotics settled in my system they caused a yeast infection. To add to it all, that night I got bit by a centipede. So, this brings me up to this weekend. Friday and Saturday I actually felt good, healthy. Then Sunday I awoke with stomach and muscle spasms that sent me straight into the bathroom were I spent the next two hours (sitting on the toilet with a bucket in hand). After, the nausea ended I decided to spend the day sleeping. I thought it must have been food poisoning and attributed to the strange sounds my stomach was making to hunger. Then at 1am I awoke with the same feel I had the last morning and spent an equally long period of time in the bathroom. The next morning- same again. Miserably sore, exhausted, thirsty I passed out for the entire day. The locals call what I had the "running flu". I guess this is either because you are constantly running to the bathroom or because everything inside of you is running out as fast as possible. Anyways, today (day 4 of the sickness), I still have minor diarrhea, but I am holding down fluids and food. I'm taking the day off to make sure I fully recover and to cetch up on computer based work, laundry, and cleaning. My hand is near healed- a few days left. I hope that just as it was the start of this period of sickness, its healing will mark the end of it.

Help. Through this past month I have really had a lot of help and love from those around me. I need to thank my fellow PCVs who took care of me through a lot of my sickness. Through cooking, cleaning, and general mental support they have been wonderful. Also, my fellow villagers have been fantastic with local remedies, teas, and support. One ex-PCV that continues to live my village was especially kind bringing me yogurt and coming to check-up on me. Even those far away helped me bare the storm. AMA called often and supported me mentally and parents especially kept me sane with phone calls and packages. I guess in the most graphic way though, Daric has been amazing. Forget helping me with cleaning and laundry, taking me out, and being patient with my lack of mobility. He actually stayed with me and held my hair back through the puking and diarrhea. The first morning I was sick, I called him to ask for assistance. He was over in record time and spent the morning with me- until I fell asleep and then returned when I awoke in the evening. He spent that night and the next making sure I was alright, helping me to and from the bathroom. Its not the first time a partner has done this type of thing for me, but it really allowed our relationship to go to another level. I really love everyone for being so wonderful and supportive. I just hope its done with!

5-18-06 Project Report. So I thought I would update the projects that I am undertaking currently. Primary School- this term I have not had the time to tutor, but I am working on a project to update and renovate the community library that is located at the school. Secondary School- I am still working with the environmental club, but they are currently taking time off since the third term is filled with testing, graduations, etc. A new project that I am really psyched about is bringing Service Learning to the school. This involves integrating community service with curriculum work and student organization. CCF- I am recording success stories and parenting sessions. Village Council- I am working on a project to clean-up a natural spring and historical area and create it into a tourist destination. I am also aiding the disaster committee to conduct a census and prepare for the upcoming hurricane season. Soon I will begin preparing a project for a skills/ health programme. Other- The agriculture business programme finishes this week. I continue to teach art once a week to about twenty children at an after-school programme. I have helped organize an aerobics class (though I have yet been able to attend). Finally, I will soon be preparing to train the new class of volunteers who arrive mid-summer. So, I'm busy.

5-31-06 Not Much to Report. Everything is still going well. The relationship has become more serious, projects continue to go well, and its only month away from my father's visit. Today I woke-up at 5:30am and went for a run. Then I went to work with CCF until 12:40. I shoved food down my throat and took a 10 min nap, than ran down the hill for an environmental programme planting flowers. My boss stopped by and we gave a women a tour of my area until 4:30. I am now retiring to my mosquito infested apartment. It is hot, but I'm used to it. I'm a bit bored but this weekend Daric and I are going away for the weekend for a romantic weekend away from everyone and everything. Such a needed break. Well cannot think of much else unless someone has a plan to eliminate mosquitoes.

6-20-06 Hurricane Season/ Kitty Cat- Hurricane season has come in with a flood. It is raining and raining and raining. Everything is returning to the way it was when I first came to Dominica. My favorite fruits are back- mangos, sour sop, cannip, avocado (pear), pineapple, and breadfruit. My feet are always wet. And every meeting is delayed for as long as it is raining. I wake-up to rain, and fall asleep to it. The sound makes sleeping deeply easy and the drops cool the warmth of the ground and air. There is something different about rain in a rainforest. The plants seem to glow and exhale. The air feels crisp and fresh. The evidence of why the rain is such a gift is found in the twenty or so flowers that line the road side and the array of colours on your supper plate with fruits and vegetables only found during this season. No one is poor, no one is hungry, and no one is thirsty. Still, when the rain seems to hide away on the mountain tops for a few hours or sometimes a day everything begins to catch fire. The blacktop, metal roofs, sand, and my skin burns and heats the air like an oven. everyone stares out over the ocean in hopes to get a glimpse of a coming cloud or the light pink hugh of the setting sun. Heat so unbearable no one leaves the home. That is why rainy days here are so amazing. Not only do the plants exhale, but people emerge. The whole village seems to have taken a cool refreshing bath leaving smiles and pleasant hellos.

The rain is not the only thing giving me joy though. Last week I was given an adorable, loving, kitten. I named her Weve (pronounced Wa Va), which means 'to dream' in Patios/Kweyol. She gave herself the name by always twitching and moving in her sleep. She is the most loving cat I have ever known- even when playing she stops for kisses and hugs. I have definitely fallen in-love.

8-12-06 Check-up- So it has been a LONG time since I last wrote. I'm doing ok. Still sick. My father visited and then a week later my mother. My mother and I went to Guadeloupe for my birthday. I turned the big 25. I am officially able to rent a car throughout the wide US of A. I am in love (yes the same man), and still have my kitty. Thought she is getting more like a cat. She spends her days running around outside playing with chickens, frogs, crickets, and a dog. At night fall she brings her days findings inside to play then settles into bed with me to sleep. Work is slow because school is out but I still keep busy. The new class of Peace Corps arrive in exactly a week. I have been chosen along with another volunteer for the position of volunteer trainer. It will be exciting to have newbies on island.  I'm really sorry I have not written but life seems to be flashing by. It will be year in September and six months for my relationship. I am content, but cant wait for things to pick-up.

9-5-06 Picking Up- Well I asked last time for things to pick-up and they definitely have. The new PCTs are on island and training them takes up seven days a week from morning until night. The small amounts of free time I do have are usually spent trying to do as much as possible in my community. The new class is done training Sept 22nd. This does not mean I will be free, but it does mean I will have more time to spend in my community. I REALLY miss my community. School starts tomorrow, but I cannot stop in until next week! I have a lot of new PCVs near my village and all are very cool. It will really change the personality of the area for me. I feel free to go out to dances and do other activities because I have people to go with besides my local friends who do not go out much. Well, I would love to write more, but I really have a lot of work to do and would like some relaxation time tonight.

9-9-06 In Love- I am training a group of people who still have their entire two years before them. In less than ten days I will only have a year left. I remember in the beginning I counted down the months longing for them to go by faster. Now when I look at these new faces I am reminded that I am a seasoned volunteer. I see how much I have changed over the year and how much I have fallen in love with this place and these people. I know for a fact that at the end of my two years I will be a mess. Sure, there are many things that make me upset and I will always be a partial outsider, but this has become my home, I am happy. Training is crazy- almost every day I am going somewhere and doing something. I have to travel to the volunteers homes to de-brief, go to training sessions, lead training sessions, organize the volunteers, be a friend, mentor, and evaluator. I enjoy having the chance to get close to the new volunteers and be reminded of how much I have grown, but I hate going to town twice a week, walking miles in mid-day heat, and having to hide some of my real feelings in order to be pc.

As far as my relationship with Daric- its been choppy lately. Mainly because he is going through a lot and doesn't know how to handle it well while still being apart of the relationship. Its made me go through a lot of emotional ups and downs. Still, I am comfortable enough here that I can separate those emotional lows of the relationship with my home and job. The sadness doesn't make me immediately say I want to go home. Instead, I look for work to do in my community or fellow PCV to confide in.

9-15-06 Come a Long Way- Today I awoke late and rushed to get to the Secondary School by 7:45. I made it one tenth of the way down, when my host father drove by and picked me up. As I entered the school I felt at ease. I waited for the six trainees who have youth attending the same school, at the front. I realized I knew quite a few of them very well- a huge change from a year earlier when I felt overwhelmed every time I walked into that school. The new ones arrived- teachers and students said hello and I introduced them. I saw several of last years Primary students running around excited to be all grown up and in Secondary school. We met with the Principal, a literacy teacher, and several others. Then they sat in on a class while I relaxed in the front room. Afterwards, I greeted my YDO and others and had a de-brief about the experience. On my way up the hill a friend stopped to give me a lift. I then returned to the Secondary School to attempt to go to town in order to go to a doctor's appointment. The point of all of this- I have come a long way in the last year. I am part of the village- I am being called a Dominican now- not a Peace Corps or white girl. I have picked up the language, made many friends, and become integrated enough that I can finally be myself and not walk on egg shells trying to fit in and make others like me. I feel at home, not at work. When I sat in the bus heading to town, crammed in to the back seat with four others (even though it fit three), winding through the rainforest, singing along to Serious Times (a reggae track), it hit me- I am in a third world country, integrated, happy, living a life I could have never imagined- It finally sunk in--- I'm a Peace Corps. It took a whole year, but I finally get it.